just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
