I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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