yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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