bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
