and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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