i already hear my dad disowning me
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize