I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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