Having a random hookup so left but love u
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
