When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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