I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
