Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
