Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
