u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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