I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
