he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She's the barista slut.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
