I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
