Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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