Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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