Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Green mimosas i think yes
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
