i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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