How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
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