he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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