i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
