It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
