i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
