she kept yelling 'call me bella'
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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