Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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