I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
