Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
