OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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