White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I will be naked everywhere
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
