Your dad touched me again.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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