on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
