This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
