dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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