Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
