I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
