North Korea, Best Korea!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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