I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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