They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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