everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
