The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
