On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
