toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm eating all of the evidence.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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