U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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