please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
