i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
