Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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