whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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