New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
