At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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