can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
