Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Someone came in the potted fern
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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