he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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