The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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