I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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