Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Randomize
