actually, I'm a sock model
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You need Xanax blowdarts
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize