Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
