5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
