Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
