Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
