spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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