I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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