Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
