so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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