You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
