He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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