how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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