people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
