My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
high people should be assigned attendants
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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